plasmapanda:

people always giving me lip for watching these musclebound studs suckin each other off and grabbing all over each other’s oiled up bodies they say things like “johnny. why are you constantly watching gay porn if you’re not actually gay” so i explain to them “if it wasn’t me then it very well could be you. someone has got to do it and thankfully it’s fallen to me; a person that appreciates their chiseled forms, heavy globes and the thick, ropy, ivory spurts running over them after a day at the gym. it’s just a hobby. i’m not gay. it’s just something i do. i’m not gay. i’m not gay.”

i also dreamed that i found this color spray stuff that can turn your hair red, so i tried it and it was reddish for a few minutes but then the colors started changing every minute until my hair was completely white but i liked it, that was cool

then me and everyone at the lunch table went outside and we saw naked ladies dancing around by the trees and we made fun of them for being naked but then someone came out of nowhere and said, YOU FOOLS…THEY ARE TRYING TO WARD OFF THE GRENDELS….and everybody was like OH NO THE GRENDELS and ran away, so i ran too and caught up with this girl who was at a river where there was this weird evacuation boat thing which was just an inflatable boat on top of a bunch of wood, so we got in the boat and she said it would get us away from the grendels…we ended up entering this weird fun house cave type thing with water currents on the floor that pushed the boat and we had to go down all these different passages and shit until we finally got into the safe house where there was another girl…and i thought we were safe but then…but htenthen…there was a grendel!!!!!!! it looked like a fucked up gray bear…and the girl threw a huge bowl at its head and it was wounded, so i took a bucket and threw it at it and it died and turned into that other girl except it looked like a doll and not a living human..so the n we were like…the people are being turned into grendels O_O and we went outside the safe house and we were in some weird town and everyone was bringing out their weird doll things that used to be people and putting them in a pen and pouring custard all over them. And some guy was like turning his into delicious food with magic..so I was like “you guys these dolls are PEOPLE why arent you turning them back” and they just laughed. i thiknk i woke up here. i dunno. it was fucked up