imstillyourzelda:

[X]

definitely not now because i’m so girly that it hurts bUT when i was little i totally was for a bit, i thought i was cool as shit. I wore shoes with flames on them and I paraded around on my razor scooter like i had the biggest dick in the culdesac just waving in the breeze as i pulled off sweet tricks
I talked like a prepubescent boy and tried to act like my older brother and his friends that i looked up to so i could be cool like them

i also tried to like emulate boy characters asdfjkhfdjgdh oh gjesus there was this one time

the last time i tried to ttell this story to my boo i couldn’t get past the first sentence without laughing so hard that i sprayed saliva everywhere and it’s not even that funny of a story!!! and he was getting so impatient with me ahahahaha oh god what is wrong with me

but the story was that i was um
I was like 8 and I was trying to do an -ALADDIN- IMPRESSION AT APPLE BEES anD I KNOCKED OVER A GLASS OF CHOCOLATE MILK JUST AS OUR WAITRESS CAME OVER BECAUSE I WAS GETTING EREALLY INTO IT AND SWISHING MY HANDS AROUND 

HHEEEEHHHEEHAAAY I’M NO STREET RAT heh high five geneie : ^ )

AND THE MILK JUST WENT EVERYWHERE ALL OVER ME AND THE TABLE AND I COULD TELL THAT WAS THE EXACT MOMENT IN HISTORY WHEN M Y PARENTS WANTED TO BE DONE WITH ME FOREVER JUST BY THE HOPELESS LOOKS ON THEIR FACES  

NO 

you’re about one year off there, friend :^ )