The Onion: Objects including but not limited to steel pipes, wallets, and cell phones are not, in fact, guns.

The Onion: "Listen, son, it’s time you learned how to conduct yourself in public. It may not make sense to you now, but you need to keep your hands empty at all times."

Facebook asked US hospitals to give patients' data to Facebook.

The data was going to be "anonymized", but Facebook planned to "match it up" with other data — which probably means to reidentify it.

Facebook saves all videos that useds make — even videos they say to delete.

A Republican spokesperson in Colorado got carried away with emotion and posted that Republicans hate poor people.