(satire) *Congress unveiled a new stimulus plan Tuesday that would provide a national tip jar for all Americans making under $40,000 a year.*

(satire) *Department of Homeland Security issued a statement Tuesday stressing that they had merely snatched protesters off the streets as part of a new surprise makeover series created in tandem with Netflix.*

*Plastic waste entering oceans expected to triple in 20 years.*

It is far too much already. We need laws to restrict the manufacture of plastic objects that cannot practically be recycled.

*[The conman] orders undocumented immigrants excluded from key census count.*

This is a way to reduce federal funds and reduce legislative representation for the cities where most Democrats (and most unauthorized immigrants) live.

This order is simply and directly unconstitutional.

A Canadian court ruled that Canada must accept asylum applications at the border with the US.

In other words, the Canada may not take for granted that the US respects human rights.

I applaud Canada for recognizing this and acting accordingly, but my heart cries that my country has sunk to the point of deserving it. Patriotic Americans, let's push to make America exemplary.

More about the US government conduct which was the basis of the court's decision.