“Ooh, that’s a nice fish, evolution.”

“Oh, thanks! I’m pleased.”

“What is it called?”

“This one’s a pearlfish.”

“Lovely. And what does it eat?”

“Little invertebrates, that kind of thing.”

“Delightful. And where does it live?”

“Inside the anus of a sea cucumber.”

"Oh, for Christ’s sake.”

“What? It’s a fine place. Safe, sheltered, just the right size for the fish to squeeze in.”

"And you were doing so well for a minute there, too.”

Source: Wikimedia Commons / Alessandro Pagano / licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0

“Ooh, that’s a nice fish, evolution.”

“Oh, thanks! I’m pleased.”

“What is it called?”

“This one’s a pearlfish.”

“Lovely. And what does it eat?”

“Little invertebrates, that kind of thing.”

“Delightful. And where does it live?”

“Inside the anus of a sea cucumber.”

"Oh, for Christ’s sake.”

“What? It’s a fine place. Safe, sheltered, just the right size for the fish to squeeze in.”

"And you were doing so well for a minute there, too.”

Source: Wikimedia Commons / Alessandro Pagano / licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0

“All right, evolution, it’s time to make more turtles. Evolution? C'mon. You’d better get to it. You said you’d do the mata mata eons ago. Up and at ‘em. Okay? Evolution?”

“Uuuuuugggggggggghhhhhhhhhh.”

Flickr / wildrose / licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

“All right, evolution, it’s time to make more turtles. Evolution? C'mon. You’d better get to it. You said you’d do the mata mata eons ago. Up and at ‘em. Okay? Evolution?”

“Uuuuuugggggggggghhhhhhhhhh.”

Flickr / wildrose / licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Hey! Are you in the Bay Area? Then on Feb. 11 you should come see me at Books Inc. in Berkeley. I’ll be talking about weird animals, reading from the WTF, Evolution?! book, answering questions, signing copies, and generally doing whatever it is people do at book readings. Come say hello!