“I am such an idiot.”

“What do you mean, evolution?”

“I made animals that court each other, and make beautiful love; I made animals that protect each other and raise their offspring together and mate for life. But apparently I was just being naive. Apparently none of those things actually matter to anyone.”

“Whoo boy. Did genetic drift stop calling you back again?”

“Maybe, instead of cuddling after they mate, one of these praying mantises should just eat the other one’s head off and put it out of its misery.”

“You seem a little angry.”

“Love is dead.”

Oh, that? That’s a fungus. Just a plain old forest-growing, spore-forming, tree-helping Devil’s tooth fungus. Evolution may have been daydreaming about jelly doughnuts when it made it, though.