(satire) *Senate Passes $50 Billion Bill To Combat Chinese Influence By Developing Own Pandas.*

That is less of a joke than it might seem. China uses its pandas with great care as instruments of influence. It does not give pandas, only lend them, and the contract says that all baby pandas they produce belong to China. Thus, China maintains its monopoly.

This has been used to induce various countries to panda to China.