We Need to Talk About Masculinity.

Somehow I escaped being taught to judge myself in terms of masculinity. I judge myself based on success or failure, but I never took up "having sex with women, regardless of circumstances and feelings" as a goal. Instead, I learned to want to feel loved and wanted by women, and for women to be glad to feel loved by me. My goal will never lead me in the direction of trying to pressure a woman into reluctant sex.

The toxic masculinity goal is sometimes called "scoring", because it treats sexual relations like a game where one gets points. Those points have no meaning, and that imaginary competition can't lead to happiness. It's only an excuse to tell yourself you're "winning". If you are playing that game, I hope you will recognize how pointless it is.