What Happens When Rich People Marry Poor People -- Science of Us
mercredi 14 octobre 2015 à 09:59liens
A lot has been written about how married couples deal with questions of money. Less has been written, noticed Jessi Streib, an assistant professor of sociology at Duke, about how married couples from different class backgrounds deal with having very different beliefs about money — not to mention differing when it comes to the countless other habits and social mores intimately connected to the social classes they were born into. (The Cut recently asked couples to delve into some of these differences.)
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Comments:
beenthere1982
Apr 9, 2015
I have been married for many, many years to a blue collar guy. We did come from different economic and educational backgrounds, but our core values are the same and I had grown tired of the immaturity and lack of depth of young men more closely aligned to the background I grew up in. At first it literally took a bit of accepting and adjusting to our differences, but, like the article says, I too found that many of the things that were different were a great relief. My spouse is an excellent communicator and I have never, ONCE, wondered what he was thinking. What a relief! No games and complete and total trust. It has not always been easy and we do have differences in our approach to how much you do for the kids (he is big on not doing too much and helping them learn and earn things for themselves), but he also has great faith in my judgment and, therefore, we always work it out together. I see into his soul and he sees into mine. We laugh a lot and I am completely liberated by learning that speaking your mind is not "unladylike" and that my value is worth fighting for.
There are times when I must admit that our differences are stressful and exhausting. The author is right in that you can't take your class background out of you. I learned long ago that he would speak his mind his way and there isn't a thing that I can do about it. He has also learned that I will still fight for certain things for our kids when I believe that they will benefit from our help for important things in life. It is a challenge, but when I imagine being married to someone that is different I don't think that I would ever have had a more loving family or dedicated and devoted father and husband, despite our differences. But if you are not a person that can look past such differences and appreciate all the goodness that doesn't come in the perfect package of your own class, then it is not for you, but you sure will miss out on a lot.
(Permalink)
A lot has been written about how married couples deal with questions of money. Less has been written, noticed Jessi Streib, an assistant professor of sociology at Duke, about how married couples from different class backgrounds deal with having very different beliefs about money — not to mention differing when it comes to the countless other habits and social mores intimately connected to the social classes they were born into. (The Cut recently asked couples to delve into some of these differences.)
[...]
Comments:
beenthere1982
Apr 9, 2015
I have been married for many, many years to a blue collar guy. We did come from different economic and educational backgrounds, but our core values are the same and I had grown tired of the immaturity and lack of depth of young men more closely aligned to the background I grew up in. At first it literally took a bit of accepting and adjusting to our differences, but, like the article says, I too found that many of the things that were different were a great relief. My spouse is an excellent communicator and I have never, ONCE, wondered what he was thinking. What a relief! No games and complete and total trust. It has not always been easy and we do have differences in our approach to how much you do for the kids (he is big on not doing too much and helping them learn and earn things for themselves), but he also has great faith in my judgment and, therefore, we always work it out together. I see into his soul and he sees into mine. We laugh a lot and I am completely liberated by learning that speaking your mind is not "unladylike" and that my value is worth fighting for.
There are times when I must admit that our differences are stressful and exhausting. The author is right in that you can't take your class background out of you. I learned long ago that he would speak his mind his way and there isn't a thing that I can do about it. He has also learned that I will still fight for certain things for our kids when I believe that they will benefit from our help for important things in life. It is a challenge, but when I imagine being married to someone that is different I don't think that I would ever have had a more loving family or dedicated and devoted father and husband, despite our differences. But if you are not a person that can look past such differences and appreciate all the goodness that doesn't come in the perfect package of your own class, then it is not for you, but you sure will miss out on a lot.
(Permalink)